Love & Respect

Love & Respect

The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs

Book - 2004
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A New York Times best-selling marriage book making a difference! More than one million copies sold!

Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the Love & Respect message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some Love and Respect.

A wife has one driving need'to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need'to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn't met, things get crazy. Love & Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily, and biblically.

What readers say about Love & Respect

"I've been married 35 years and have not heard this taught." "This is the key that I have been missing." "You connected all the dots for me." "As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material." "You're on to something huge here."

Partner Love & Respect with the Love & Respect Workbook for Couples, Individuals, and Groups for an added experience. Love & Respect is also available in Spanish, Amor y Respeto.

Publisher: Nashville, TN : Integrity Publishers ; Colorado Springs, Colo. : Focus on the Family, c2004.
ISBN: 9781591451877
Call Number: 248.844 EGGERICHS
Characteristics: viii, 324 p. : ill. ; 24 cm
Subjects: Spouses -- Religious life.
Love -- Religious aspects -- Christianity.
Respect -- Religious aspects -- Christianity.
Alternative Title: Love and respect


From the critics

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Apr 09, 2017

This book is not for everyone. It is interesting, and always learning new things is good. My husband is constantly telling me I undermine his authority with our children. I thought this book would help me understand his perspective. Instead of reacting positively to the changes suggested, he became upset. So, although it was an interesting read, it was not helpful.

Feb 08, 2017

I read this book through twice because I felt the insights were so important for me to remember. A main benefit of the book was the knowledge/reminder that (many) men are "wired differently" than females and have different needs and different values and different expectations. I needed the reminder that I perceive life differently than my husband, and now I'm open more open to the notion that his outlook, while different than mine, is not inferior.

The book is written by a Christian pastor, so will likely be more accessible to Christian readers, but I recommend that all people in relationships read it and experiment with the ideas and test whether they have value for themselves. We are all wired a little differently from our partners.

Thanks Emerson and Sarah!

Sep 13, 2014

While there is a good message in there, I strongly disliked how often the author uses name-calling to try to empathize with the wife/husband. I'd recommend reading Dr. Gottman's work, which the author references several times.

Jul 09, 2013

This book is amazing! Some have said that the book is dry or slow; I didn't think so, but you may also search for the video series. My friends rave about the videos.

Proverbs31woman Dec 23, 2012

This is hands down my favorite book about marriage and relationships. I think it is especially important because of the focus on mens need for respect. If you have the opportunity to attend this conference live or even via DVD at a church hosting it, I would recommend it. It is life changing.

Jun 25, 2012

Definitely a eye-opener. Every married couple should read this! An awesome book that has changed the way I approach my marriage :)


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Jul 09, 2013

This book breaks down how marital friction can start and shows how to reverse it. Continue that action and your relationship keeps getting better and more intimate.
It has 3 parts: First for the general audience, then specifically for the husband, then specifically for the wife. Although, it is very beneficial to read all parts because it gives good perspective.


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